Balance

As I have been making some serious changes in my life, I have been thinking about balance. I think about the times in my life where I have attempted to change or to go in a new direction and one thing that I have never been accused of is doing things half way. I like to jump in with both feet, sometimes without looking to see what lies below.

I can say that this approach has helped me quite a but in the past, it has made me able to go after things that I want and not quit until I achieve my goal, which works very will in school and in the professional world. I can honestly say I have few complaints about those two areas of my life. I graduated from HS, college, and law school with an above average GPA. I have a job that I love {98% of the time} in an industry that I have a serious passion for. Are there things in these areas of my life that could get better? Sure, if there weren't I would be concerned with my perspective and drive.

A couple areas where this all or nothing attitude has been less than successful: relationships and health. As one of my best friends told me last week, "You're a lover, not a fighter. There's nothing wrong with that". One of the qualities that I love/hate about myself is that I care WAY too much for and about the people in my life and I can't help it. For example, during World Championships I was a nervous wreck. I didn't watch the last two runs of 2-man or 4-man because I was so nervous, Bird and I were in tears as the guys won 2-man for the first time EVER. I was equally emotional when one of the guys failed to get into the sled in 4-man disqualifying the guys from the rest of the competition. I care about the people I work with/for to the extreme. That being said, that means I wear my heart on my sleeve and that means I get hurt really easily. I have decided that I am going to work on balance in this area of my life. Not letting in people who don't deserve a piece of my heart and being more open to those that do. I'll keep you posted on how that goes...

The second area of my life that could use a little balance is my diet/exercise. I tend to get REALLY motivated and then kick my own butt for a while and then burn out quickly. Same thing goes with the food I eat, for a while I am hardcore, low carb or low fat or vegetarian or whatever. Then a few weeks go by and I find myself going through the drive through which is not really acceptable. I am really hard on myself when it comes to this part of my life. I have educated myself to the point that I know what my body needs to function well and what makes me crash {sugar and white bread}, so when I go off course it feels like a failure because I know better.

I have grown in this area though, because a few years ago I would fall of the wagon, but it would be more comparable to falling off a monster truck. I would do one thing that didn't fit with my goals and then I would just breakdown and lose it going completely off course and ruining everything that I worked for up to that point. Now, when I go off track I do give myself quite the mental beating but I let that one misstep be the only one and move on. All of this applies to working out too, I used to skip a workout or two and then just quit for like a week or two. I haven't skipped much lately, but I have turned down my runs leading up to the half marathon. I am also double training-for the half and to get stronger and leaner with Jillian Michaels Body Revolution. That means that there are some days that I do double workouts and when that doesn't happen I tend to beat myself up, even though I already ran 4+ miles. I am going to work on not mentally abusing myself when I skip a workout.

It's all about balance and finding the right place where everything works in harmony. Sometimes you need to look to make sure you are on the deep end of the pool before you do a cannon ball, that's all I am going for.