Being Brave

I am a big consumer of reality television and one of my favorite/most inspiring shows out there is the Biggest Loser.  These people are attempting to change their lives, they put everything else in their life on hold to attempt to change everything, forever.  One of my favorite teams in Season 11 was the purple team.  The sister team of Hannah and Olivia were there for each other through every challenge and I think they were one of the few teams to never really have a bad week--yes they had not great weeks but they were consistently losing throughout the 20+ weeks.  In the end, Hannah and Olivia were the final two going into the final weigh-in.  They both lost nearly half of their body weight with Olivia winning the show losing 49% of her body weight.  These two are so inspiring to me because I really relate to them they are young women who have never known what it is like to be "skinny" and healthy.  Hannah said several times on the show that the bravest thing that she did was reach out for help and talk about where she was in her life and her journey.  So I am going to try to do that--writing it all down is not hard, I have done that for years in my 100s of journals, putting it out there on the interwebs for the world to read is less than comforting, but here goes...

The first time I remember being overweight was in the 5th grade.

This is me at my birthday party in the 5th grade.  I cannot remember a time after this that I felt good about myself.  In the 7th grade we had a weigh in during gym class and while all my other classmates were barely breaking 100 pounds, I weighed in at 150.  I was always the biggest skater in every competition I entered, and always the biggest on any team I was ever on.  I have always seen myself as the "fat friend" when all around me my friends are going out and getting dates I sit at home and feel sorry for myself.  There are a few notable exceptions to this rule but for the most part that is how it's been.  Now I am 26 years old, college and law school graduate, starting my first real job tomorrow and still can't feel proud of myself for any of these accomplishments.  I know that my self worth should not be shrouded in what I look like and it isn't.  The feelings about how I look just permeate every aspect of my life.  

With all that said, I have decided to make a change starting tomorrow I am going on my own journey.  I want to lose half of my body weight in one year.  It works out to be about 11 pounds per month for 12 months.  I want to do this for myself and for a new life that I want for myself.

I made a few things to help me out:

This is my vision board all the things that I want for my life and some inspirations thrown in for good measure.  I really want to run a half and a full marathon so that is what those numbers are on the side, its the back ground on my computer...

And these are my purple fingernails to remind me of Team Purple from the Biggest Loser and a daily reminder to stay on track!

Alright, blog readers (are there any?) there it is my life and journey out there for all to see...

Agenda

My planner ends this month and I cannot think of a time in my life where I have actually used my planner less!  I have started to transition to my online calendar because I am ALWAYS on my computer and nearly always have my phone or iPad with me if I am not.  I am about to bid goodbye to my planner so I decided to look at what was going on the first month I had this gem.  Since I have been a student for the past 21 years my planners have always run July-June [I think that is the best way, not sure I can make that adult transition to one that starts Jan 1, plus I would have to waste an entire half of an agenda].  In July 2010 here is a sampling of what I was doing:

-White House photos: assembling packages of photos for the Olympians--they got their photos taken with BO and MO while they were at the White House for there post Vancouver visit.
-Camping and Boating for the 4th of July
-Going to DC for a Federalist Society conference
-YOGs {Youth Olympic Games for those of you who don't live your life by abbreviations} (apparel, planning, conference calls)
-Helping Nicki pre-pack apparel for the Boxing Champs and volunteering for said Championships
-Interviewing my replacement
-Distributing commemorative watches to those who worked and competed in Vancouver
-Playing Goal Ball

It is hard to believe that my next agenda will start with my first big kid job--I can't wait!

Road Trippin'

Today I left Salt Lake for Lake Placid.  I didn't get too far today because I had a bunch of errands to run and turn in my apartment keys so I am only in Cheyenne, WY (about 6 hours from SLC).  Tomorrow is the big leg of over 15 hours from here to Indiana and the final leg is about 13 hours from Indiana to Lake Placid.

The saddest moment was when Jenny and I parted ways on the highway.  I literally didn't cry until then and then I cried for a little while but then I made myself stop, because, yes, I am going to miss Jens--but I know for a fact that we are going to see each other again {whether I like it or not, right Jen?} and I know that she will be in my life forever.  So a moment of sadness is ok, because let me tell you how much Jenny makes me laugh on a daily basis.  I cannot wait to get some awesome HeyTell messages.

Next step get to Placid and get an apartment...

Moving...

End of an Era

I have been in school for 22 years (I started pre-k when I was 4) and yesterday I finished my last exam of law school!  I am officially done with school forever, now the only question is where do I go next?

Special Delivery

No I am not pregnant.

I got a surprise present int he mail this week.

But before I tell you what it is, let us go back to last Wednesday April 20, 2011.  I didn't have class anymore I am done forever, it was a long, not so awesome day at work, and I was having a freak out/emotional breakdown about my future.

I wasn't sure the first person I wanted to talk to would be responsive, so I texted that person and I called my friend Emily.  She and I have been friends since college (which by the way ended 4 years ago today) and she always can make me feel more normal and completely sane in my worries.  She knows how to talk me down and that she did.  I am someone who doesn't recognize how stressed she is until it starts to manifest in physical symptoms {cold sores or just plain sick} and guess what started to form on Wednesday {gross I know but it happened and is totally stress induced}.

Over the weekend, I was told by several people that I just needed to calm down, chill out and things would happen.  So I tried to do that as much as I could.  Had an awesome Easter dinner and after dinner checked my email to find---AN INTERVIEW OFFER!  I have an interview with USBSF on Friday and I have everything possible crossed that it goes well.

Then yesterday came around and I got a surprise in the mail that I had no idea was coming.

This was exactly what I needed this week...  And I highly recommend it to anyone who is finishing school...  I am now going to force Jenny to read it--aka I might have to read the whole thing aloud to her--yes I did finish the book in 24 hours...

Moab: Day 2

Day 2 of Moab featured my favorite hike in all of Arches.  Yes it was forever long (8+ miles) but it goes into areas of the park where not many people {families} go so it was quiet and really peaceful.  The hike starts out a mile or so in at Landscape Arch.

My one memory of this Arch from my first trip to Arches was that I wanted to see this one but for some reason the kids weren't allowed to go, just my dad went and took an awesome picture.  The arch doesn't even look the same though because there was a rock slide on the right side of this picture and the arch is now larger than it was before.

Me at Partition Arch

Navajo Arch--I love that there is a tree growing in the shade of this one! 

The awesome view from the hike to Double O Arch

I think this is Pine Tree Arch--before you get to Landscape Arch

Notice all the SAND--this is what made this hike super hard, the amount of sandy areas/hills!

My absolute favorite!  Private Arch--it was so quiet it was like no one was even around us, so peaceful

The last hike we ended up doing was to Tower Arch.  I had never been here before mostly because it was a gravel road 30 minutes from the other arches.  Totally worth the drive.  It was Jenny's favorite hike of the trip.  You literally climb to the top of one of the bluffs in Klondike Bluffs and hike around the entire plateau until you reach the opposite side and this cool arch with again a tree growing right in the middle.  This one was really hard too because of all the sand and literally sand dune hills that you had to climb near the end of the hike.  I am pretty sure that I still have sand in my shoes from this one.

Tower Arch

The Marching Men

My favorite trail marker...  They remind me of the 2010 Vancouver Olympic logo

We ended up coming home that night because 1-we couldn't hike any more (12 miles in 1 day is a lot), 2-we both really needed showers (again 12 miles) and 3-we couldn't sleep in the back of the car again (the mice had already made an appearance early in the day).  All in all it was a great trip down to Moab.  A great chance to get away from the job searching, outrageous drama, and hustle and bustle of life and school in the "city".

I wish we could go back--every weekend {especially since it snowed here today}