Over It

There's this one boy {even though he is 5 years older than me, I consider him a boy} that has come in and out of my life for nearly three years.  He is someone that I have given part of myself to, little pieces of my heart each time we were together.  When we met he was a rising star and I was in the middle of my first year of law school.  The self-esteemeless part of me wondered why he would pick me out of all the other girls in the bar/around him.  But for some reason he did pick me and I let myself believe it was real.  The same part of me, that questioned the initial choice continued to question his intentions and made it easier to go back to him each time.  When I saw him I would be overjoyed to be in his presence again, and each time I left I was hopeful that maybe this time would be different.  It never was.

As his star continued to rise he got more distant.  One would think that is the natural course of things, one person becomes a super star the other remains the same--distance grows.  I didn't want to believe that was going to happen, I held on to every moment he threw some attention my way.  In hindsight, that was probably the worst thing I could do but at the time I could not let go of the happiness he brought to my life.

I am now in a new place, physically and mentally.  My physical location makes it much more difficult to move on mentally and emotionally.  I am brought face to face with him nearly everyday.  For the first few months it got worse.  Every moment he was in my presence my knees would get weak and my heart would beat faster and faster.  Things didn't change and living in the same city (which we've never done before) opened new faults to me that I hadn't seen before.  It was so hard, wondering if I would ever get over it, thinking that there was no way it was going to happen, and having a panic attack about no one else measuring up.  Thanks to an ever steadying force in my life, an email that is printed out and on my refrigerator so it can be easily referenced, I knew it was possible to get over him.

While I was walking with the dogs through the woods today I realized that I might be over it.  I have no idea where he is or what he is doing and I don't think I care.  There is still a pang in my heart when I see him with some other girl, but it is not so physically disabling as it used to be.

Here's to healing!

Fall in the Adirondacks

There is a nature preserve about 3 minutes from our house that the dogs LOVE.  It's called Henry's Woods and I am super excited that they are expanding it to include more trails and off shoots.  The main trail is a 2.5 mile loop, which is winds up the hillside.  We like to go off onto the Plateau Loop or the "yellow trail" (because its marked with these yellow markers).  It's a great time to think and just relax.  These pictures are from our walk yesterday.  I have been wanting to the Rocky Knob trail (which is red) but it just hasn't really been nice enough to head onto a trail we don't know how long it will take--so today we're hitting it up!

Making Strides

I haven't posted in a while, mostly because I have been ridiculously busy!  Shortly after my last post I flew across the country for the weekend to see one of my good friends get married.  It was an absolutely beautiful weekend and she was one of the most beautiful brides I've ever seen!

I got back on Monday from that extravaganza and left early Saturday morning to go pick up the latest editions to the Lake Placid troop of the Smith Family-Sam, Ruby, and Harriet.  I drove down to Virginia and my mom drove up from Orlando and we did the switch.  Since getting here they have become more at home, but those first few days were rough-we spent all of Sunday driving home and then Monday I headed back to work and the dogs proceeded to bark all day, apparently because I got a mean note--since then they are doing a better job.

Harriet relaxing in my lap on the drive home

Sammy chillaxin on the couch

Anyway...  We got to stay home this pas weekend and sorta get everything back together.  Right now they are passed out on their beds-we went to Henry's Woods after work and they got to pretend that they were wild dogs, they ran all over the trail.  Sammy got brave and ran halfway down the hill-not on the trail through the trees!

The other thing that came into my life since I last posted--this guy...

This is an OCD/super competitive girl's dream!  It syncs with my phone to tell me how many calories I have burned, how many steps I've taken and basically it rocks.  Part of my problem was not knowing how many calories I was actually burning, now I know and I can better tailor the calories I take in to make sure I am running on a deficit every day to keep losing.  I cannot express my love for this little guy-I have already lost 8 pounds since I first put him on 12 days ago...  I see beautiful things for our future ;)

That's all for now, I have another exciting update but you'll just have to wait!

Passion + Goals = Success

Those of you that read this blog--even if you've just glanced at the archives--you know that I LOVE to bake/create sweet treats.  I am famous for my cupcakes--my pumpkin heath bar cupcakes have been called "the best cupcake I have ever had"--by my former boss.  Well with my new goals and new life direction I was feeling kinda sad that I wasn't going to be able to bake anymore--because who wants that temptation in their house?  When I bake it is usually for others in the first place.  I never just bake a batch of cupcakes or cookies for myself but once they are done and before they go out the door somehow you lose track of just how many you ate and how many were given away.

I have been determined to figure out how to make treats that are good for you, enter these babies...

FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE

These are completely amazing, it sounds simple but (a) I never thought of it before and (b) who would think that frozen hot chocolate would taste as good as ice cream?  In this version I used Fat Free Hot Chocolate--you literally make the hot chocolate, let it cool and then stick it in the freezer.  I used these cute baby mason jars that I may or may not also use to make skittle vodka--they are perfect for one package of hot chocolate and they are portioned out, I dieter's dream.  The other fantastic thing about these little gems---25 calories!  SERIOUSLY people the best thing since sliced wheat bread!

INDIVIDUAL CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKES

Normally I am not a cheesecake fan, but since these babies pack only 107 calories each I had to give them a go.  The crust is made with grape nuts which gets the perfect level of crunch on the bottom-with a few sprays of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.  There is no sugar in these, the flavors are accomplished with vanilla yogurt and a little honey.  These are so good (1) because they taste awesome, (2) they are portion controlled!  I have never been the person that can buy a bag of cookies and have them last 2-3 weeks--that bag lasts 2-3 days at the most which obviously is in direct conflict with the stated goals to the right!

Both of these recipes come from the Biggest Loser Cookbook, which is amazing by the way nearly all my meals come from that book.  I think the best selling point for me is that the recipes are done by serving sizes so it's not like you have a ton of food left over to binge on.  You can get the cookbook here (I have not been paid to advertise this book--I just love it).

Lastly, here is a pic of me doing something fun (besides baking)--hanging out at the Yankee game-with Amy, Operations Coordinator for the LPOTC

Podcast LOVE

I have been struggling since I moved to Lake Placid to get into a regular workout routine.  In SLC, I would hit up yoga at 24 Hour Fitness at least 3-4 times per week and if I wasn't doing that I was running on the treadmill or getting my cardio in.  The thing about gyms is that you can workout rain or shine.  Here in LP, there is no 24 HR-which for me is honestly a tragedy!  So I decided I was going to run outside, which is a good idea until it rains every other day--or lately everyday, which means the last few weeks I have gotten a good run in on Monday and then the rest of the week it just doesn't happen.  Take today for example, I was ready to go and then around 3:45 a sudden storm hit, including HAIL and really strong winds that lasted quite a long time--long enough to dissuade me from hitting the trail.  Yes I could run around town, but there is something about running in the trees that just makes me so much more comfortable--probably because no one is really watching you run, I am super self conscious about running in public.  Anyway this predicament lead me to search for gyms--and yoga studios.  There is only 2 yoga studios here and one of the studios only offers classes during the day and the second is a Bikram studio which I do want to try but it's too pricey for this girls budget right now...

Enter the podcast...  I'll admit I never really had much interest in Podcasts--every now and then there would be one that was interesting but I never regularly listened to them, until now.  Yoga Journal has an awesome podcast series with a bunch of yoga practices targeted at specific areas.  Some have video and some are just audio.  They are awesome and my new addiction!  With no dining room furniture right now I have the perfect space to do as much yoga as I want--and its FREE!  Thank you Yoga Journal!

Where I live...

I finally got some time-and recovered from Colorado, to walk around and take some pictures Fourth of July Weekend in Lake Placid!

Canoe/Kayak National Championships on Mirror Lake

Happy 4th!

New Furniture!

Today after work I drove the hour to Plattsburgh to look at some couches since I am currently chillin' and watching TV on an air mattress :(

I went to the Ashley Furniture Home Store mostly just to look, I knew the amount I could spend because I pre-qualified for no interest financing!  I didn't spend the max (which is new for me :))

Here is my couch that was $899, but I got it for $499--$400 OFF!  Thank you 4th of July Sale!

The cool think is that the chase part can be on one side or the other so it's really versatile!  Since I got such a good deal on the couch I decided to pull the trigger on a dining room table too.  Not the best picture, but it has a brown table top and seat bottoms, and the legs are black--which matches the hutch that I already have.  It's also counter height, taller than a normal table and its a square, I am in love :)

Can't wait til it all gets to Placid!